How to Choose a Discipline Style that is Effective for Your Child!

As a child counselor, I often get asked about spanking. There has been a long debate in child rearing about on the effectiveness of spanking or hitting as a form of discipline. In fact, many states are now making spanking illegal as a form of discipline.

There is a passage from the bible that has become a common phrase: "Spare the rod and spoil the child." Many people have used this as an interpretation of corporal punishment being a useful and sometimes necessary part of child rearing. Every parenting style is slightly different. However, as a counselor I prefer to discuss research based methods for discipline in order to take away any biases we may have.  

Research has often shown that discipline techniques, such as spanking may have immediate effects, but long term it is generally found to not be effective.  The initial aversion created by being physically hurt can fade as children build a tolerance to it.  Corporal punishment is an example of power assertion. One of the reasons that power assertion does not work well with discipline is that it dissuades children from regulating themselves. When the punishment is taken away, the children are less likely to follow the rules. Research suggests using natural consequences and positive reinforcement to shape your child’s behaviors. For instance, if your child uses a tablet longer than the agreed upon time, they choose to not be able to use the tablet the following day. This is a natural consequence which tends to be more effective than other discipline techniques such as spanking. Reward systems, such as sticker charts, can help your child demonstrate more positive behaviors.

If you have questions on the effectiveness of certain techniques or would like help strengthening your relationship with your children, speak with your counselor for help creating an effective plan unique to your situation.

¿Es afectivo el castigo corporal?

¿ Realmente funciona el castigo físico? Ha habido un largo debate en la crianza de los niños sobre si es apropiado o no golpear como una forma de disciplina.

Hay un pasaje de la Biblia que se ha convertido en una frase común: "evita la vara y echarás a perder a tu hijo." Muchas personas han utilizado esto como una interpretación que el castigo corporal es necesaria para la crianza de los hijos. Cada estilo de crianza de los hijos es ligeramente diferente.

El castigo corporal puede tener efectos inmediatos, pero a largo plazo no es tan poderoso. La aversión inicial creada por el daño físico puede desaparecer cuando los niños construyen una tolerancia a ella. El castigo corporal es un ejemplo de aserción de poder. Una de las razones por las que la afirmación de poder no funciona bien con la disciplina es que disuade a los niños de regularse a sí mismos. Cuando el castigo es quitado, los niños son menos probables seguir las reglas.

Cómo uno disciplina a sus hijos incluye una gran cantidad de factores que no se pueden resumir fácilmente en unos pocos párrafos. Si tiene preguntas sobre la efectividad de ciertas técnicas o le gustaría ayudar a fortalecer su relación con sus hijos, hable con su consejero para que le ayude a crear un plan efectivo único para su situación.